Stories - FD Thornton

Someone please tell me why I’m sitting outside in this 101° heat index weather? Sometimes I ain’t got the sense God gave a goat, but still here I am. I guess for a moment I just wanted to breathe some unrefrigerated air. The gnats haven’t caught wind of me yet, so at least I got that going for me. Up in the sycamore trees I got a murder of crows calling out to each other. I’m sure they’re here to eat the figs, which I guess is just fine, considering how many bloomed this year. Remember what I said about the gnats? Well they finally have tuned in to my signal, I think it was the crows that gave away my location.  It's relatively quiet around here. Took my bride to the store so she could spend some of her birthday money. Then I had to go by the courthouse to see about some business for our special needs son. Nothing ever seems easy. I got to take care of some paperwork for him that otherwise will never get done. Your lives are an endless array of responsibilities and duti...

Since many enjoy reading about my pain and suffering, today I woke up with a blinding sinus headache and good dose of the “whoa is me’s”. The headache I’m pretty sure I don’t have to explain, but the “whoa is me’s” is just a good case of feeling sorry for myself. I’m sure everyone goes through it and I’m pretty damn sure we each got our own way of dealing with it. You either cry in your coffee or get mad and act like me, and turn into a cynical asshole.  So for my own protection and that of others in my life, I’ve barricaded myself in this room. Hoping that at some point my headache will clear or my attitude towards the world will subside. Right now all my chips are riding on the headache. Self-deprecation is a defensive weapon I use well. Self-forgiveness is a new tactic I still have difficulty managing. Asking forgiveness of others is an even harder task to master.  From a world where relentless bullying was the norm. It’s still very difficult for me to sympathiz...

It’s 5:15 in the afternoon and my stupid ass is back outside. I just checked the phone and it’s a balmy 90° with a feel like temperature of 99°f. I figured since I was hot in the room with the AC on, I might as well come outside and do same thing. Earlier I read a funny meme from my sibling on Facebook that read, “Can someone send me a hug?” copy and share. Rather sarcastically I replied, “We are not huggers , didn’t we grow up in the same house?” Probably no truer words have ever been spoken about our lives as kids. Oh, we weren’t beaten or overly abused, we were just not raised all “touchy feely”. Not surprisingly most kids of our generation weren’t raised that way either. We were provided for in our working class suburban homes. It’s just that a lot of time wasn’t devoted to things like feelings and emotions. You were expected to tough it out and swallow those tears. I guess one place where we could let our emotions go was church. Raised during the infancy of the “Pentecostal Moveme...

Again against my better judgement, I’m back outside. And as usual the lawn crew that mows the two strips of grass for the EMC are back at it again. They have a crew of at least three and they take at least three hours to mow those two strips of grass. Whereas Mr. Brown can mow my entire yard in less than 30 minutes. It begs me to question, who’s getting paid by the hour. Thank God only about six people actually read anything I write this far or I’d be getting letters from union groups right now. It's a kinda hazy day already and the gnats are out in full force. Normally I would just sit in my room till October but with the promise of a little breeze I couldn’t help but come outside. So with the back drop of a few birds, the smell of laundry, and the hum of dueling leaf blowers. I can’t help but feel inspired to inspire you with my words. But seriously, after a weekend of being trapped in a dark bedroom with two fans and a broke down AC going. Just about anything’s bett...

It’s one of those melancholy days today, with the sun bleeding heat under an umbrella of high humidity. I had to defrost my AC this morning, apparently it froze up over night. I turned it to fan mode then turned a box fan towards the coils to dry them out. Considering it was a balmy 74° this morning it didn’t take long for it to dry out. Other than that my delicious dinner from last night has come back to bite me in the ass (quite literally) this morning. So I’m once again sitting around here dressed pretty the same as my newborn grandchild. I’m all to pieces sorry I can’t offer you a more picturesque view of my life. But unlike some people I enjoy following that are either on a beach vacation or traveling overseas. My station in life is planted right here either making doctor appointments or being a caregiver to my family members. But such as it is, I pretty much walked into this situation with my eyes wide open. I knew 35 years ago my bribe had her limitations. And as far...

From the picture I took, I almost look productive. It’s funny, during my college years it was nothing for me to either be sitting at my desk doing work or laying flat on my back with the laptop doing the same. But not long after the “widow maker” I had during my Capstone Exam for my MBA. My mind and especially my body made a U-turn in my priorities and dropped me here where I am today. I haven’t written anything other than a few lines of poetry recently. My failing condition and this extreme heat have kept any deeper thoughts at bay. I close my eyes and take a deep breath before continuing, packing together whatever random ideas I may have. I suppose if anything, I’d like to say productivity and the bottom line are not the end all be all goal of human existence. I used to think money and admiration were the goals that I needed to obtain happy  life. Now given my life experiences I would say it’s the simple things like a cool morning breeze or the stretching of our newes...

Me and my bride just got back from the big store chain that doesn’t compensate me for mentioning them, so I won’t. Last night it was stuffy and hot with the temperature hovering around 80° at midnight. So I woke up dizzy with a headache. Even after dropping my morning meds, the headache and lightheadedness still hasn’t gone away. Long story short, after putting the groceries put up, I’m now sitting in the shade of the trees in our backyard. There’s not much to write about at the moment other than I also have an enormous crick in my neck. Which may go a long ways in explaining my dizziness. Still down the street a neighbor is getting their grass mowed. Our lawn was mowed Tuesday by Mr. Brown, with this being the first time I’ve been outside in a couple of weeks. Between the headache and the dizziness, there’s sharp pain is running down my leg again. Reminding me if nothing else most physical and some emotional pain will definitely teach you a little about patience. In bet...