A Thicker Skin


Recently a friend of mine introduced me to someone they hold in high regard. As we shook hands and were introduced, I made the remark, “most folk just call me the grumpy old man”. The person’s reply to my cynical statement was, “Well if you’d only accept Jesus Christ in your heart, you wouldn’t be so grumpy”. For a spilt second my reaction was going to be “what”, but I held my tongue. Here where I live in the rural south comments like this are not that unusual. In fact in my upbringing they are quite common.

I suppose since I now live in a bubble of my own making little jabs like that now surprise me. If my dear mother were still around I suppose she’d say, “It’s only the conviction of the Lord making you uncomfortable”. But honestly, words like that have always made me a bit uncomfortable, even in my more evangelical years. I don’t think it is the words themselves that bother me as much as the tone they were conveyed in.

At this point, I could drive into my own personal belief system to explain my reason for this. But as in the previous statement, it is my own personal belief system. I think the thing I want to discuss is my intolerance to the words of others. For a really long time during my youth I put up with a lot of abuse from my peers around me. One of the defenses I developed to that abuse was a sense of humor and a thick skin.

I was fortunate because as I grew older the abuse I suffered from the outside subsided. What continued was the abuse from my own mind and heart. And while there are points in my life where goodness shined on me, that specter of judgement and self-hatred still loomed. Causing chaos and robbing me and the ones I love of our fullest potential. So when moments like that come up and I hear the seemingly sincere words of those only wanting to help. Through their sincerity I can still hear the smugness of their complacency.

I suppose I could tell myself to get over it and put on a thicker skin. But you know it doesn’t stop the words of insincerity or intolerance from coming through loud and clear. The only way to change a mind is to approach the situation with love and tolerant respect. Only then will the heart of another believe in what you’re selling.

Have a Blessed Day.  

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