Primal Fear

Like most of you I woke up to the news that David Bowie had passed. Now I must admit I didn't really get into Bowie until his The Next Day album came out. In fact just last night I was listening to his newest album Blackstar. My reason for being this up is because for a long time deaths like these were sad to hear, but they didn't have the effect say a loved one’s death would have.

But for whatever reason ever since Amy Winehouse and Robin Williams deaths, deaths like these now affect me deeply. I'm not positive that it's my own mortality that causes me to feel this way. Or if it's just the idea, at least in Williams’s case, they saw no hope in going on. Whatever the reason, I thought that I had a better grasp of how I feel about my own eventual death.

I recall reading in Thich Nhat Hanh's book Fear where it mentions the fear of death being a major cause of stress and depression. As Thich discussed, once we realize that we never really die in the Buddhist definition. We can live in the here and now in peace. But even with this knowledge in mind, I still have trouble accepting the supposed non-finality of death. 

Even though my Christian up bringing also brings the promise of eternal life from my finite eyes I still worry of those I leave behind. I know it may sound silly because each of us at some point face death and move on. Still there is the innate primal fear of facing the end.

Usually, I try and wrap my posts up in a neat little bow. But this time I cannot, simply because of my own doubt of my own opinion. I suppose all we can say is let's live our lives as best we can and leave our world better than we found it.