I Tried

Image: Sandra Burnsed
Maybe today is not the best of days for me to be online. Really not feeling too well, stomach is still acting up and my sinuses are on fire. Around my home if I mention I'm not feeling well everyone seems to go into a panic. I suppose because of my heart history, but honestly, this is an annual respiratory issue and not much else. 

But I did accomplish one task this morning, so I might as well keep plowing the rest of this field. But I'd be lying if I didn't stay I just want to crawl back into bed. But what can you do? Sometimes you just have to muster up enough determination to get the shit done. So, believe me when I tell you this little pep talk is for me as much as it is for you. Cause, I ain't feeling it today.

If anything I want to be honest with you. It's been a struggle for me to go through the mental health issues I go through. Panic Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and Depression are a bitch. Now I have my good days, even a few good months. But sooner or later here it comes. Some little annoyance or problem will arise and sent back down the rabbit hole. I don't wish to discourage any of you going through this, I just want to be honest.

Life has dealt us the cards in front of us. So, we can either fold and wait for a better deal or take what we got and bluff like hell. Either way, you walk away from the table head held high, knowing you tried. Lord knows, I hope these words will encourage you. But the reality is illnesses of the mind and heart are true test of one’s character. Simply do the best you can. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Fail-Safe

Image
Through the paper-thin walls of this old house, I can hear my neighbors getting ready for another day. Laying here remember when I used to do that, working at night so I could take care of the kids, while my wife went to work. Yesterday sorta marked a tipping point for me I suppose. I finally got my consultation with the gastroenterologist. So we are working the set-up some tests my primary care physician has been wanting for me to have for months. While I would love nothing more than to tell my PCP, “I told you so”. But I suppose knowing is better than not knowing. Although I do find some comfort in ignorant bliss.  I get the impression some people feel I am an optimist. But I like to think of myself more as a realist. What some may mistake as optimism is actually nothing more than analytics. Where I breakdown a given situation and create a solution. That may sound cold and frankly less romantic. But you must understand, after living so long in a void of no emotion (due to
Read more

Moments You've Lived

Image
It’s 5:15 in the afternoon and my stupid ass is back outside. I just checked the phone and it’s a balmy 90° with a feel like temperature of 99°f. I figured since I was hot in the room with the AC on, I might as well come outside and do same thing. Earlier I read a funny meme from my sibling on Facebook that read, “Can someone send me a hug?” copy and share. Rather sarcastically I replied, “We are not huggers , didn’t we grow up in the same house?” Probably no truer words have ever been spoken about our lives as kids. Oh, we weren’t beaten or overly abused, we were just not raised all “touchy feely”. Not surprisingly most kids of our generation weren’t raised that way either. We were provided for in our working class suburban homes. It’s just that a lot of time wasn’t devoted to things like feelings and emotions. You were expected to tough it out and swallow those tears. I guess one place where we could let our emotions go was church. Raised during the infancy of the “Pentecostal Moveme
Read more

Focus on Living

Image
Me and my bride just got back from the big store chain that doesn’t compensate me for mentioning them, so I won’t. Last night it was stuffy and hot with the temperature hovering around 80° at midnight. So I woke up dizzy with a headache. Even after dropping my morning meds, the headache and lightheadedness still hasn’t gone away. Long story short, after putting the groceries put up, I’m now sitting in the shade of the trees in our backyard. There’s not much to write about at the moment other than I also have an enormous crick in my neck. Which may go a long ways in explaining my dizziness. Still down the street a neighbor is getting their grass mowed. Our lawn was mowed Tuesday by Mr. Brown, with this being the first time I’ve been outside in a couple of weeks. Between the headache and the dizziness, there’s sharp pain is running down my leg again. Reminding me if nothing else most physical and some emotional pain will definitely teach you a little about patience. In bet
Read more