This Moment


I you want to get an eyeroll emoji from me quick, put up a positive affirmation on your link. I don’t know why those things bring out the eternal cynic in me, but they do, they do, they do. Despite the tons of bullshit I put out, I like to think of myself as an optimist. Still when I read those things they seem so forced. Like the person who wrote it is willing themselves to be positive. In my life, I’ve discovered when I forced myself to think positively, I only end up disappointing myself time and time again.

A few years ago, I stumbled upon a book written by Oliver Burkeman, The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking. The book basically tells the story about how positive thinking can lead you down a slippery slope of negative feelings about yourself. The solution Burkeman offers is thinking in terms of the here and now, mindfulness, and loving oneself. Earlier today I wrote a note to someone about how for years I beat myself up for each and every mistake I made. That in doing that the progress I thought I was making, only ended up piling on more and more guilt and pressure.

It wasn’t until I learned to let go of that self-hatred, that I began to see progress and start to have a clearer vision of myself. Does this mean I’ve had nothing but success since then? Seriously? No. What it has done is make me a much more content and happier person. Oh, I still have goals and I often question the choices I make. But the overriding thing is, I’m very happy with the direction in which I’m going. Don’t let failure and mistakes rob you of what you want to be. Don’t let regret hold your happiness hostage. Live in this moment and do what you can to make it the best.   

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