An Added Note

Image from mindbodycoach.org
Please note, while I was first typing away at this post, my computer suddenly decided to delete the entire thing. So the post you are reading right now is as much as I remembered. The rest I just make-up as I went along. Sorry.

Good morning. Getting up every night between 2 or 3 am is bad enough. Taking an hour or more to fall back asleep is another. I realize that I'm not getting any younger and I understand some of the medication I take makes me "pee" a lot. So I've nearly forgotten what it's like to sleep a 8 solid hours. But enough about me how are you?

It's ironic after all this time dealing with anxiety that it still haunts the back of my mind, even now. I mean, I don't deal with the classic panic symptoms like I used to. But that doesn't stop my mind from chasing every phantom pain that crosses my body. 

In writing about my Panic and Anxiety issues, I often wonder if some of you just don't ask yourselves, "What's the point, he’s been struggling nearly two decades!" "Why doesn’t he just give up?"

Sometimes when you set big goals for yourself, you get disappointed when they are not met like you envisioned them. I know because I feel that way a whole lot. The thing that I have to remind myself of is to take the small steps I need to take every day in order to achieve my goals, (like mustering up enough fortitude to rewrite this deleted post). It kinda pisses me off sometimes when I’m reminded that I'm only human and very, very fallible. Like the fact that I tend to loss my motivation or the fact that I have a slight dyslexia problem; which makes writing and staying motivated even more fun.

While I couldn’t change some of the things in my life like being blue-eyed, left-handed, or looking just like your dad. I can change things like my attitude, temperament, and moral compass. The thing you and I have got to remember is to just keep trying. I know at times I can sound like a broken record and life can be hard and unfair. Still it can be a happier and more fulfilled life, if we only take the time to make it that way.

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