Don’t Lie to Yourself

For a long, long time I’ve been trying to convince myself that I’m worthy of the love and respect I know my family has for me. But for the life of me with every small victory I have won, there’s still that voice within me that says you’re not worth it. For someone that’s pushed the virtues of pushing through the fear and taking small steps every day; it can sound a little hypocritical. But for me it’s just being as honest as I can.

You know in a way maybe that’s what this is all about, being honest. If you are an individual that’s whole persona is wrapped in being calm, fatherly, and stoic. Showing weakness or vulnerability can send your stress levels through the roof. I should know because it caused me to have my heart attack. 

Stress is a funny thing while it can destroy you, at the same time it’s a necessary evil that can save your life. Over the last 15 + years, I have read more on the how, what, when, where, and way of stress. Yet when it hits me, it surprises me like it’s the first time it’s ever happened. Crazy right?  Yet here it comes every time I put myself out there, those same feelings and emotions of total unworthiness. 

You may ask, what can you do to stop does feelings? I suppose the best answer I can give is either bite the bullet and press on or just give up and hide. Sound a bit extreme? Well that’s how it is with me all or nothing. I suppose the best thing I can say, at the moment is just be honest with yourself. 

Lying to yourself is the worst thing you can do. It’s bad enough that we try and fool those around us with our stoic masks. But kicking ourselves in the ass is even worst then having a group of bullies doing it to you. I know I’m far from being the world’s authority on overcoming low self-esteem. But learning to love yourself warts and all is most important thing you can do.  

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