Outsider

Feeling like some kinda outsider is nothing new to me. As a kid for whatever reason I got along with adults much better than I ever did with other kids my age. As I got older I did get along better with my peers, but I hung with a tight group of different individuals. By the time I reached adulthood and married, I allowed myself to change way too much for someone I thought I loved.

After a heart-wrenching divorce it took me a really long time just to rediscover who I am. During that time I discovered what love really is and married the women of my dreams. We have since raised a family and are beginning to enjoy the fruits of our labor with our grand-daughter. But even with the good things to have happened over the years that feeling of being an outsider always rears its old head.

Even now as a grey-haired grandpa in his fifties, I still feel like a fish-out-of-water. Rather it’s my political orientation, my education, and the fact that I’m the new guy in town; I can’t help but feel this way. I suppose the question I should ask is, Am I alone in feeling this way? Or is this a thing that effects more people than I realize?

While researching this I came across an interesting article in the Huffington Post by Devi Clark titled, Ever Feel Like an Outsider? You Are Not Alone. In the piece, Ms. Clark describes how humans are tribal by nature and that one of biggest fears a tribe member can have would be to be abandoned by their tribe. That even today that fear of abandonment and not fitting in is still remains with us. One serious problem with this is forcing oneself to fit in to a common mold, just to be “part of the crowd.”

Here Ms. Clark mentions that trying to fit the mold can still make individuals feel like outsiders. She goes on to say that the beauty of not fitting can create advantages that maintaining the norm would never discover. So I guess the point should be being an outsider may look bad. But in reality it may make you a unicorn different and beautiful.  

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