Safe Harbor

Cockspur Island Lighthouse - www.nps.gov
It’s amazing really, how much a friendship can get you through the day. I recall going through my teens and twenties depending and being depended on my friends just to get through the day. While sadly today, I have less friends then the number of fingers on my hand. Just the spirit of those past friendships has been enough to carry me through the gates of hell. 

For a long time I had abandoned most of the friendships of my past. Not so much out of conflict, but the fact that time can pull people apart. Leaving you to fill that void with other relationships over time. One of my problems stems from the fact that I didn’t take the time to create new connections. For the most part I allowed causal relationships fill the void only true friendships could replace.

I believe within me this created a vacuum that only got bigger and bigger. That as the months and years went on left me without a safe harbor to call home during the storms. Needless to say, that metaphor led to the damage I still deal with today. A damaged hull and no clear compass to guide the way. But the ship is salvageable and every day I try and improve the man I am. 

I suppose the lesson we can teach each other here is, no one can be a lone wolf for long. And no one was meant to bare their shame alone. The point here is to be receptive to genuine calls of sympathy and understanding. That not everyone is out to get you and not everyone’s motive is selfish. While my limited number of friends is due more to my own choices, than others. It doesn’t mean the very small group of friends I have are not very precious and cherished.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Fail-Safe

Image
Through the paper-thin walls of this old house, I can hear my neighbors getting ready for another day. Laying here remember when I used to do that, working at night so I could take care of the kids, while my wife went to work. Yesterday sorta marked a tipping point for me I suppose. I finally got my consultation with the gastroenterologist. So we are working the set-up some tests my primary care physician has been wanting for me to have for months. While I would love nothing more than to tell my PCP, “I told you so”. But I suppose knowing is better than not knowing. Although I do find some comfort in ignorant bliss.  I get the impression some people feel I am an optimist. But I like to think of myself more as a realist. What some may mistake as optimism is actually nothing more than analytics. Where I breakdown a given situation and create a solution. That may sound cold and frankly less romantic. But you must understand, after living so long in a void of no emotion (due to
Read more

Moments You've Lived

Image
It’s 5:15 in the afternoon and my stupid ass is back outside. I just checked the phone and it’s a balmy 90° with a feel like temperature of 99°f. I figured since I was hot in the room with the AC on, I might as well come outside and do same thing. Earlier I read a funny meme from my sibling on Facebook that read, “Can someone send me a hug?” copy and share. Rather sarcastically I replied, “We are not huggers , didn’t we grow up in the same house?” Probably no truer words have ever been spoken about our lives as kids. Oh, we weren’t beaten or overly abused, we were just not raised all “touchy feely”. Not surprisingly most kids of our generation weren’t raised that way either. We were provided for in our working class suburban homes. It’s just that a lot of time wasn’t devoted to things like feelings and emotions. You were expected to tough it out and swallow those tears. I guess one place where we could let our emotions go was church. Raised during the infancy of the “Pentecostal Moveme
Read more

Blowing Breeze

Image
It’s later in the afternoon so I decided to take advantage of the lighter humidity and come back outside. There’s a lite breeze blowing so while the gnats are still out, at least they’re having to put in some extra effort to lite on me. You can still smell where the grass got cut this morning, but sadly the faint scent of BBQ from the restaurant down the street is gone.  The poor old sycamore tree leaves look a bit sad. Hanging like they’re on their last leg from the limbs. There’s no point in bringing up the fig bush/tree, it’s all but shed most of its leaves. It’s hard to believe that just a few months ago both plants were vibrant and green, with a bountiful crop of figs. But the birds have mostly abandon their nest in the fig branches. With the kids grown and the shade and food supply dried up, I can’t say I blame them.  But I’m the human here, I’m adaptable with opposable thumbs. I can’t move on as easily as the birds. My so-called cognitive reasoning insist I stick aro
Read more