The S#@t We Put Ourselves Through

At one time I thought of myself as a pretty strong fellow. I’m I took on the responsibility of raising a family of four and being my wife’s caretaker at nearly all the same time. And for a really long time I juggled those damn balls like I was in the circus or something. But you know what, after a while of perfecting my act I thought. Hey, what if I add a couple more balls and maybe set some on fire? Hell yeah, I think I can handle that.

Well guess what, I dropped the balls and nearly set my ass on fire.

It’s funny the sh@t we sometimes put ourselves through. And for what reason, lack of support, pride, perfection, or good old fashion just can’t say no. I’ve used every excuse and then some. It’s not that I just decided to abandon my family or rage against the lie that life’s just not fair. It’s that I was forced to slow down. You see after a while, your mind may say go, go, go; your body, which tends to be a bit more realistic, throws up it’s hands and says, “time to go now!”  

And go it did. After many, many years of juggling balls of fire, chain saws, and the occasional poodle, my old ticker called my brain and said, “We are through, I want a divorce!” The funny thing is while lying in the hospital with three IV’s going, getting shots every twelve hours in my belly, and having to pee in a plastic jar so the nurses could inspect and measure it. I figured out, if you stay in the spinning tea cups too long, at some point you’re going to puke.

Listen, I’m not saying leave anything behind, what I am saying is listen to yourself. My heart trouble came out of left field. I mean, I had and still have health issues, but my ticker shutting down was a real “wake-up” moment. The thing is you can’t be everything for everybody. The most valuable thing I learned while staying at Club PCU was, if given the chance others will step up and give you a hand, if you let them.  

To be continued…