Thinking Out Load, After a Nap


Well it's a little after 5 pm here and once again I sent the early afternoon asleep. Which usually means when I do go to bed around 11, I’ll sleep till around 3 in the morning and pop-up wide awake. This is nothing usual since I have a habit of getting up anyway at some point during the night. While I think my current situation has more to do with my untreated sleep apnea; my sad sinus condition isn’t help the problem either.

Anywho, lately it has made for some crappy days and nights where I just "feel" lifeless and totally not of energy. You know how it is you just go through the motions and pray for a better day. It's usually at this point of my writing where I dig myself out of the muck and give a little pep talk about moving on one step at a time. Today isn’t one of those days.



All I'll simply say is this, here is what separates the real from the make believe. Because not every day is going to be a cake walk nor is everyday going to be a wade through old shit creek. Life is usually a combination of the two. Here in my walk through the worlds of panic and anxiety is where the rubber hits the road. Because many out there will tell you if would only do these steps or sign-up for my program, we'll be cured.



Well everyone in my situation I’ve been walking this road since 1999 and while I have had some success at beating this shit. I still have days and even weeks where it sneaks up on me, if for nothing else, but to remind me I still have a ways to go. While my situation right now maybe more physical than mental, it doesn't stop the panic and anxiety from finding the cracks and taking hold.



At this stage of my life I've done a lot more living than not. So I’ve learned to roll with the punches and every now and again I’m able to spoon out a little of the wisdom I’ve learned. If I learned one thing it’s that nothing worthwhile is ever easy. Maybe that’s what creates grey hair and winkles? Either way to make it through this world, you either got to be too stupid to give up or just too damn stubborn to give in.

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