Who Knows

I’m sitting here this morning doing my usual routine of answering emails and checking my social pages. Also I’m making phone calls and putting together arrangements for future business. Then in between all that I might get a few moments to type out something profound or something totally crappy, who knows. 

 Anywho, I hope everyone’s day is good, mine so far has been productive. At the moment I'm sorta pecking around the keyboard looking for some good words to say. But you know what sometimes your mind just doesn't have a lot going on, which in my situation can be a good thing. You ever have times when your mind focuses on something like your chest feeling a bit tight. Or maybe your nose is a little congested and you have a slight headache? Years ago, I would have thought nothing of those things. But ever since my first panic attack, some 18 years ago, now it's like my mind laser focuses on such things.

 You'd think by now I'd learn that it's only my over active amygdala firing on all cylinders causing this. But sometimes knowing the cause doesn't make dealing with it any easier. So what do you do? In my situation you just deal with it. I try and look at my panic as an early warning system. That maybe being a bit hyper about my health issues isn't a bad thing. It keeps me aware of when something feels out of balance as it were. 

 The thing is we all have to live with the hand we're dealt. I know that may sound heartless and cold, but it doesn't have to be. Understanding the good, the bad, and the ugly within ourselves can give us a more realistic image of ourselves. Personally I don't see how this can be a bad thing. In that by having a real honest image of myself, I can then work to improve on those areas that could use a little help. 

 The thing is while having an honest view of your strengths and weaknesses is okay. Developing a hatred of the parts you’re not proud of only leads to pain. I hope that the thought I want to convey is coming through. That improving one's physical and/or mental well-being are good things but looking at one's self as less than or not good enough isn't. So learn to love yourself.

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